The Day Someone Assumed I Was a Lesbian

One day I was having tea with a friend, as you do, and told him one of my super-funny stories (about telling a guy who was bothering me in a bar to get lost), at which point my friend stopped me with an incredulous look, exclaiming, ”wait, are you...?” He then proceeded to tell me in great detail how and where to find the only bar in Aarhus specifically catering to lesbians. Slightly confused, I nodded along and put in the occasional ”ok”, not really picking up why he was telling me this. Only later that day did it click that he was talking out of an assumption about my sexuality.

Leaving your comfort zone(s)

You know how it's the first time you're at a party at Lucy's and you don't really know anyone? Or your first day at a new school? And somehow it's all just slightly uncomfortable and you feel out of place and it's such a relief to go home and close the door and listen to your normal music or talk to your regular friends. After a while you get to know Lucy and her friends better and enjoy the parties more, and you get to know your classmates, you find out where the restrooms are and you finally pick up on the paper-hand-in-system. All is well. You have made these new places somewhere you belong, they have become part of your comfort zone, places where you feel at ease.

”But my hairdresser's gay!”

When I was young and innocent and went to school, maybe around 10-12 years old, a 'riddle' that came up from time to time was the one of ”should a gay man go to the men's or ladies' room to pee?” Barely knowing what that meant we'd all ponder this so seemingly difficult question and never reach a satisfactory conclusion.* Youthful ignorance, excuse it as, you may. I grew up and learned the ways of the world (and common sense); this was not so for all. Some still say weird, vile or simply ignorant stuff to anybody not fitting into a heteronormative conception of how people are supposed to be.